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I try to collect money and I keep it in a special place called the bank. I collect a bunch of things called money, dollar bills, and I keep them in a safe under my bed.

Jake M. Johnson

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Jake M. Johnson
Money
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More quotes by Jake M. Johnson

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I feel like L.A. is more of a showcase, and Chicago is a pure comedy scene where you're doing comedy for comedy. You're doing comedy actually for the audience that's there.
Jake M. Johnson
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There are a lot of comedic actors who are just out to be the funny one and get all the laughs and they'll sacrifice your joke, the scene, the story just to be the star. All they want is attention and to be number one. You can spot those guys from a mile away and they're the worst.
Jake M. Johnson
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I'm not a guy who sees the desire to transform with each part I'm not a piece of clay.
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It's a really weird feeling when you write something and you really know it and then you watch actors come in and do it.
Jake M. Johnson
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My big break was really Liz Meriwether saw me in a movie called 'Paper Heart' and really liked it, and then saw me in a movie called 'Ceremony' because she knew Max Winkler and said, 'I want you to be in 'No Strings Attached,' but you gotta audition for it.' From that it was easier for her to get me in 'New Girl.
Jake M. Johnson
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The craziest thing about TV directing is I turned in a version, and then they made their final changes - so I don't know what they are. So I'm like, Ooo, I'm dying to see the final print.
Jake M. Johnson
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I like pizza and I like cheeseburgers a lot and I like Chicago food a lot.
Jake M. Johnson
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I think a lot of people are very good, but I don't think anybody could do my rhythm. I was thinking, If you want my rhythm - and when I was writing, I was writing them for myself - why am I watching another actor doing what I should be doing? It was just a really unpleasant experience.
Jake M. Johnson
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I had spent 10 days of my life digging for garbage.
Jake M. Johnson
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Sometimes, when you work with directors who have done it a lot and are established in the business and know the game, there are all these rules that they have. First-time directors will allow you to come in with choices. They're not so jaded by actors that they're like, 'Ugh, just do your job, man.
Jake M. Johnson
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I always thought, if you're gonna do TV, you want to play a straight, solid, pillar-of-the-show kind of guy.
Jake M. Johnson
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If I took over the 'Glamour' offices for a day, I would put Joe Pesci on the cover. I would say 'We've got to change all these magazines a little bit. We have to bring out a different version of what is, like, cool. You know, what's winning. Joe Pesci, Burt Reynolds.
Jake M. Johnson
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I never thought I'd be one of those guys who gets recognized.
Jake M. Johnson
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I knew I wanted to be an actor for a long time, but I was based out of Chicago and then I went to New York and I did 'The Upright Citizens Brigade' out there. I had a two-man show with a guy named Oliver Ralli who's now in the band Pass Kontrol, which is a big band out of New York.
Jake M. Johnson
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All of a sudden Mindy [Kaling] was writing on The Office and had sold a TV show. When we'd try to write shows, we'd jokingly call the word documents Hit Show. We just couldn't crack the code.
Jake M. Johnson
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I did about 10-12 national commercials and then got one line parts in things like 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and the show 'The Unit.' Got a little part in the movie 'Redbelt' by David Mamet and kept slowly grinding up and then started getting bigger parts in independents and getting noticed by Liz Meriwether.
Jake M. Johnson
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You know, I'll tell you, nothing changed after 'No Strings' for me. A lot of people said, like, 'Your game will be different,' but it wasn't. It really wasn't.
Jake M. Johnson
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When somebody is doing something really funny, in real life and as a performer, my instinct is to join them.
Jake M. Johnson
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Problem is that my athletic abilities in my mind are greater than what my body can accomplish. And my level of fear and anxiety of getting injured is greater than my courage.
Jake M. Johnson
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We didn't make money but we never lost money. We'd sit around Times Square with fliers, walk around the Village and try and get people to come. Now you'd just tweet it, but that was the beginning of emails, or the beginning of me doing emails - I'm sure there were people in 1986 who were doing emails.
Jake M. Johnson