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Jews are living in the past and they can't get over it.

Jackie Mason

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Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Jews
Jew
Living
Past

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I always thought music was more important than sex—then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.
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I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.
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People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.
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Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.
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Older Jews think of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and see themselves as siding with the working class and the poor, so they continue to vote the way they do.
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The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.
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Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.
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I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
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Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!
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It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!
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Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.
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It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.
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I've found that my humor goes over big in London.
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Predictions are preposterous.
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By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting in whose name in whose strength in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?
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It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
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You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
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