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Older Jews think of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and see themselves as siding with the working class and the poor, so they continue to vote the way they do.

Jackie Mason

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Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Class
Siding
Working
Roosevelt
Poor
Franklin
Way
Jews
Think
Jew
Thinking
Older
Continue
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The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's F this and F that. They give you a whole series of swear words and it's really just a way for them to get themselves out of trouble when they can't come up with anything. They're irrelevant and ridiculous.
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Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.
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Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.
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Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .
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Predictions are preposterous. What usually happens is that people tell you that what they'd like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. There are so many variations and possibilities that there's no way to ever really know for certain.
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America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.
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Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.
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Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?
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Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.
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My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
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I've found that my humor goes over big in London.
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It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!
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I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!
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My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.
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I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.
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I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!
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Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.
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It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
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The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts.
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A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.
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