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Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.

Jackie Mason

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Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Much
Truthfully
Republicans
Republican
Wrong

More quotes by Jackie Mason

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Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!
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I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!
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I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humor doesn't know what he's talking about.
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My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
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Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.
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I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!
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Older Jews think of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and see themselves as siding with the working class and the poor, so they continue to vote the way they do.
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It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!
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The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts.
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You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.
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I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
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Predictions are preposterous. What usually happens is that people tell you that what they'd like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. There are so many variations and possibilities that there's no way to ever really know for certain.
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My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.
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The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's F this and F that. They give you a whole series of swear words and it's really just a way for them to get themselves out of trouble when they can't come up with anything. They're irrelevant and ridiculous.
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Predictions are preposterous.
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I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
Jackie Mason
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I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.
Jackie Mason
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All the Democrats do is bicker. They're not concerned about the war or the fate of the United States of America. They're desperate characters.
Jackie Mason
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Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.
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A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner.
Jackie Mason