Quote

The last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.

Jackie Mason

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Believe
Lasts
Last
President
Another
Need
Enough
Partner
Needs
Partners
Thing
Clinton

More quotes by Jackie Mason

Image
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
Jackie Mason
Image
Predictions are preposterous. What usually happens is that people tell you that what they'd like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. There are so many variations and possibilities that there's no way to ever really know for certain.
Jackie Mason
Image
Jews are living in the past and they can't get over it.
Jackie Mason
Image
Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.
Jackie Mason
Image
Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .
Jackie Mason
Image
Predictions are preposterous.
Jackie Mason
Image
When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!
Jackie Mason
Image
Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.
Jackie Mason
Image
My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
Jackie Mason
Image
I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.
Jackie Mason
Image
While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.
Jackie Mason
Image
Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.
Jackie Mason
Image
A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.
Jackie Mason
Image
Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!
Jackie Mason
Image
My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.
Jackie Mason
Image
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
Jackie Mason
Image
I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!
Jackie Mason
Image
I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
Jackie Mason
Image
Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Jackie Mason
Image
The New York Times does an unbelievable amount of damage because every day television and radio stations along with the rest of media take their lead on the way the news should be presented along with what actually is the news.
Jackie Mason