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Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.

Jackie Mason

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Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Hillary
Filled
Clinton
Nobody
Care
Life
Cares
Corruption

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While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.
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I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humor doesn't know what he's talking about.
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I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!
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When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!
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By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting in whose name in whose strength in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?
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I've found that my humor goes over big in London.
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There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.
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All the Democrats do is bicker. They're not concerned about the war or the fate of the United States of America. They're desperate characters.
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Predictions are preposterous. What usually happens is that people tell you that what they'd like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. There are so many variations and possibilities that there's no way to ever really know for certain.
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Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?
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People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.
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I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!
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I always thought music was more important than sex—then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.
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A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner.
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America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.
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I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.
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Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .
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It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.
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I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
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Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.
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