Quote

There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.

Jackie Mason

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Schmucks
Democratic
Republican
Ones

More quotes by Jackie Mason

Image
Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .
Jackie Mason
Image
Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.
Jackie Mason
Image
Ten years ago if you would have told me that Mrs. Clinton would be the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, I'd have never believed you. Her only qualifications for office are that she's Mr. Clinton's partner. And what does that mean? The two of them stand for dishonesty and corruption.
Jackie Mason
Image
The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's F this and F that. They give you a whole series of swear words and it's really just a way for them to get themselves out of trouble when they can't come up with anything. They're irrelevant and ridiculous.
Jackie Mason
Image
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason
Image
I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
Jackie Mason
Image
Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?
Jackie Mason
Image
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
Jackie Mason
Image
My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
Jackie Mason
Image
I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.
Jackie Mason
Image
The last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.
Jackie Mason
Image
A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.
Jackie Mason
Image
By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting in whose name in whose strength in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?
Jackie Mason
Image
The New York Times does an unbelievable amount of damage because every day television and radio stations along with the rest of media take their lead on the way the news should be presented along with what actually is the news.
Jackie Mason
Image
A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner.
Jackie Mason
Image
America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.
Jackie Mason
Image
I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that's it.
Jackie Mason
Image
Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.
Jackie Mason
Image
All the Democrats do is bicker. They're not concerned about the war or the fate of the United States of America. They're desperate characters.
Jackie Mason
Image
Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.
Jackie Mason