Quote

People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.

Jackie Mason

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Ways
Way
Qualifications
Make
Criteria
People
Sorts
Fools
Necessary
Fool
Particular

More quotes by Jackie Mason

Image
It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.
Jackie Mason
Image
You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.
Jackie Mason
Image
There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.
Jackie Mason
Image
Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.
Jackie Mason
Image
When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!
Jackie Mason
Image
The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's F this and F that. They give you a whole series of swear words and it's really just a way for them to get themselves out of trouble when they can't come up with anything. They're irrelevant and ridiculous.
Jackie Mason
Image
Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.
Jackie Mason
Image
America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.
Jackie Mason
Image
Predictions are preposterous.
Jackie Mason
Image
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason
Image
Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .
Jackie Mason
Image
I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!
Jackie Mason
Image
Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.
Jackie Mason
Image
I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
Jackie Mason
Image
The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts.
Jackie Mason
Image
Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!
Jackie Mason
Image
I've found that my humor goes over big in London.
Jackie Mason
Image
Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.
Jackie Mason
Image
Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.
Jackie Mason
Image
The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.
Jackie Mason