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A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner.

Jackie Mason

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Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
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Sounds
English
York
Sound
Speak
Persons
Foreigner
Person
Foreigners
Good
Speaks

More quotes by Jackie Mason

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I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!
Jackie Mason
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Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.
Jackie Mason
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Older Jews think of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and see themselves as siding with the working class and the poor, so they continue to vote the way they do.
Jackie Mason
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Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.
Jackie Mason
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Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Jackie Mason
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The New York Times does an unbelievable amount of damage because every day television and radio stations along with the rest of media take their lead on the way the news should be presented along with what actually is the news.
Jackie Mason
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Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!
Jackie Mason
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There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.
Jackie Mason
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You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.
Jackie Mason
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A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.
Jackie Mason
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Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?
Jackie Mason
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason
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I've found that my humor goes over big in London.
Jackie Mason
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Predictions are preposterous. What usually happens is that people tell you that what they'd like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. There are so many variations and possibilities that there's no way to ever really know for certain.
Jackie Mason
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I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!
Jackie Mason
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Ten years ago if you would have told me that Mrs. Clinton would be the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, I'd have never believed you. Her only qualifications for office are that she's Mr. Clinton's partner. And what does that mean? The two of them stand for dishonesty and corruption.
Jackie Mason
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The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.
Jackie Mason
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The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts.
Jackie Mason
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While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.
Jackie Mason
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It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.
Jackie Mason