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By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting in whose name in whose strength in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?
Jackie Mason
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Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Love
Names
Improvement
Acting
Actions
Religion
Humility
Faith
Rules
Action
Glory
Self
Whose
Examine
Things
Strength
Thyself
Men
Name
Denial
More quotes by Jackie Mason
My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.
Jackie Mason
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Jackie Mason
I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!
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Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Jackie Mason
Older Jews think of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and see themselves as siding with the working class and the poor, so they continue to vote the way they do.
Jackie Mason
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
Jackie Mason
A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner.
Jackie Mason
Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?
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Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .
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The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts.
Jackie Mason
You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.
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There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.
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Jews are living in the past and they can't get over it.
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Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!
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I've found that my humor goes over big in London.
Jackie Mason
It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.
Jackie Mason
I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that's it.
Jackie Mason
Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.
Jackie Mason
Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.
Jackie Mason
While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.
Jackie Mason