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By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting in whose name in whose strength in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?

Jackie Mason

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Jackie Mason
Age: 93 †
Born: 1928
Born: June 9
Died: 2021
Died: July 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Rabbi
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Sheboygan
Wisconsin
Yacov Moshe Hakohen Maza
Love
Names
Improvement
Acting
Actions
Religion
Humility
Faith
Rules
Action
Glory
Self
Whose
Examine
Things
Strength
Thyself
Men
Name
Denial

More quotes by Jackie Mason

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
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Jews are living in the past and they can't get over it.
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I've found that my humor goes over big in London.
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People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.
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Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!
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I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!
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All the Democrats do is bicker. They're not concerned about the war or the fate of the United States of America. They're desperate characters.
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While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.
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I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!
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My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
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I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
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Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.
Jackie Mason
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Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.
Jackie Mason
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The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts.
Jackie Mason
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I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that's it.
Jackie Mason
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A person who speaks good English in New York sounds like a foreigner.
Jackie Mason
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I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.
Jackie Mason
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America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.
Jackie Mason
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It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.
Jackie Mason
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When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!
Jackie Mason