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People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

Jack Dee

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Jack Dee
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: September 24
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Bromley
Smacking
Tourists
Apply
Funny
Language
Understand
Children
People

More quotes by Jack Dee

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And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I'm laughing or smiling.
Jack Dee
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In particular, I found praying very disturbing, like swimming with bricks tied to your feet. And yet I was drawn to it constantly.
Jack Dee
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If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me.
Jack Dee
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I spent the first 25 years of my life not knowing what I wanted to do.
Jack Dee
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But I like going to church. If you've been brought up in the Church of England, it feels like visiting an elderly relative. And I think it's important that part of the kids' education is knowing about the Bible.
Jack Dee
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They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom
Jack Dee
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I tend not to trust people who live in very tidy houses. I know that on the surface there is nothing wrong with a person being well-ordered and disciplined. Nothing, except that it leaves the impression of that person having lived in the confines of a stark institution which, although he or she has long since left, remains within.
Jack Dee
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I don't like men who blow-dry their hair. If you are a man and you blow-dry your hair, then I don't like you and that's all there is to it.
Jack Dee
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Depression is something that has always figured in my life but now I'm dealing with it. I wish I'd done this years ago because it's been really helpful.
Jack Dee
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I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough.
Jack Dee
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I had a longing for ritual, something I could cling to, a routine to make me feel well and contented. I hoped that reading Bible commentaries and theological critiques would nudge me closer to some kind of absolute that I could hold up as a torch to light my way.
Jack Dee
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My character, Rick Spleen, is a what-if version of me, really, where nothing did quite turn out right and everything else is still around the corner.
Jack Dee
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Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there'.
Jack Dee
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In my local newspaper, they had this advert: 'please look after your neighbours in the cold weather'. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, and do you know, not once has she come round to see if I'm all right. The lazy cow hasn't even taken her milk in for a fortnight.
Jack Dee
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I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.
Jack Dee
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In many ways, not fitting in has been a comedic asset and a comedic resource.
Jack Dee
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The film industry is like Anne Robinsonalways on the look-out for a new face
Jack Dee
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Maybe I fear things going wrong so much that I pre-empt them by not getting excited about them when they appear to be. going well.
Jack Dee