Quote

No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.

Jack Benny

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jack Benny
Age: 80 †
Born: 1894
Born: February 14
Died: 1974
Died: December 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Military Officer
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Violinist
Chicago
Illinois
Nine
Refuse
Often
Tell
Matter
Believe
People
Thirty

More quotes by Jack Benny

Image
I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.
Jack Benny
Image
As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.
Jack Benny
Image
I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.
Jack Benny
Image
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny
Image
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
Jack Benny
Image
Gags die, humor doesn't.
Jack Benny
Image
I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me.
Jack Benny
Image
Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.
Jack Benny
Image
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny
Image
It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
Jack Benny
Image
A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.
Jack Benny
Image
I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.
Jack Benny
Image
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Jack Benny
Image
I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.
Jack Benny
Image
How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.
Jack Benny
Image
I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.
Jack Benny
Image
Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere
Jack Benny
Image
I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.
Jack Benny
Image
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
Jack Benny
Image
I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.
Jack Benny