Quote

I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.

Jack Benny

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jack Benny
Age: 80 †
Born: 1894
Born: February 14
Died: 1974
Died: December 26
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Military Officer
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Violinist
Chicago
Illinois
Men
Quit
Quitting
Journalist
Journalism
Newspapers
Funny
Found
Money
Newspaper

More quotes by Jack Benny

Image
Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy.
Jack Benny
Image
I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.
Jack Benny
Image
No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.
Jack Benny
Image
Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration, ridicule, ignorance, surprise, the pun, and finally, the comic situation.
Jack Benny
Image
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny
Image
There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.
Jack Benny
Image
I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.
Jack Benny
Image
I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.
Jack Benny
Image
Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere
Jack Benny
Image
I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.
Jack Benny
Image
I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.
Jack Benny
Image
As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.
Jack Benny
Image
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Jack Benny
Image
I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.
Jack Benny
Image
It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
Jack Benny
Image
I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.
Jack Benny
Image
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
Jack Benny
Image
Gags die, humor doesn't.
Jack Benny
Image
When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.
Jack Benny
Image
How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. Practice. Practice.
Jack Benny