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Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat.

J. D. Salinger

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J. D. Salinger
Age: 91 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 1
Died: 2010
Died: January 27
Author
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Jerome David Salinger
Jerome Salinger
Morrow
Toilets
Seat
Seats
Sensitive
Killed
Guy
Toilet

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There isn't anyone anywhere who isn't Seymour's Fat Lady. Don't you know that? Don't you know that goddam secret yet? And don't you know — listen to me, now — don't you know who that Fat Lady really is? . . . Ah, buddy. Ah, buddy. It's Christ Himself. Christ Himself, buddy.
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She wrote to him fairly regularly, from a paradise of triple exclamation points and inaccurate observations.
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Real ugly girls have it tough. I feel so sorry for them sometimes.
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Do it for the fat lady!
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It's so silly. All you do is get the heck out of your body when you die. My gosh, everybody's done it thousands of times. Just because they don't remember, it doesn't mean they haven't done it.
J. D. Salinger
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If you sat around there long enough and heard all the phonies applauding and all, you got to hate everybody in the world, I swear you did.
J. D. Salinger
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Know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly
J. D. Salinger
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Pencey was full of crooks. Quite a few guys came from these wealthy families, but it was full of crooks anyway. The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has - I'm not kidding.
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Girls. You never know what they're going to think.
J. D. Salinger
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People never believe you.
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I said old Jesus probably would've puked if He could see it - all those fancy costumes and all. Sally said I was a sacrilegious atheist. I probably am. The thing Jesus really would've liked would be the guy who plays the kettle drums in the orchestra.
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If Death stepped miraculously through the glass and came in after you, in all probability you just got up and went along with him, ferociously but quietly.
J. D. Salinger
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Yet a real artist, I've noticed, will survive anything. (Even praise, I happily suspect.)
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All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
J. D. Salinger
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Bessie: 'Why don't you get married?' Zooey: 'I like riding in trains too much. You never get to sit next to the window anymore when you're married.
J. D. Salinger
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Happiness is a solid and joy is a liquid.
J. D. Salinger
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But I was afraid of the questions (much more than the accusations) you might both put to me.
J. D. Salinger
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I love to write and I assure you I write regularly... But I write for myself, for my own pleasure. And I want to be left alone to do it.
J. D. Salinger
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What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.
J. D. Salinger
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That's the terrible part. I swear to God I'm a madman.
J. D. Salinger