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It isn't very serious, I have this tiny little tumor on the brain.

J. D. Salinger

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J. D. Salinger
Age: 91 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 1
Died: 2010
Died: January 27
Author
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Jerome David Salinger
Jerome Salinger
Serious
Brain
Littles
Little
Tumor
Understatement
Tumors
Tiny

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Some of my best friedns are children. In fact, all of my best friends are children.
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I am always saying Glad to've met you to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.
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We are, all four of us, blood relatives, and we speak a kind of esoteric, family language, a sort of semantic geometry in which the shortest distance between any two points is a fullish circle.
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His icebergs are strange monuments with a symbol embodied in their form and their colours. They do not freeze you when you look at them, for they are not of ice, they are what Lawren Harris feels and thinks after he has contemplated them
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If there is an amateur reader still left in the world - or anybody who just reads and runs - I ask him or her, with untellable affection and gratitude, to split the dedication of this book four ways with my wife and children.
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People are always ruining things for you.
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I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty... you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
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Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad.
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There isn't anyone out there who isn't Seymour's Fat Lady.
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Oh, this happiness is strong stuff.
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You know, I'm the only one in this family who has no problems, . . . And you know why? Because any time I'm feeling blue, or puzzled , what I do, I just invite a few people to come visit me in the bathroom, and--well, we iron things out together, that's all.
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Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat.
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It happens to be one of those days when I see everybody in the family, including myself, through the wrong end of a telescope.
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I never seem to have anything that if I lost it I'd care too much about.
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Ask her if she still keeps all her kings in the back row.
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When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I don’t go. I’m too worried to go. I don’t want to interrupt my worrying to go.
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I'd swear to God, if I were a piano player or an actor or something and all those dopes thought I was terrific, I'd hate it. I wouldn't even want them to clap for me. People always clap for the wrong things. If I were a piano player, I'd play it in the goddam closet.
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That's the terrible part. I swear to God I'm a madman.
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Do it for the fat lady!
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People always clap for the wrong reasons.
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