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All morons hate it when you call them a moron.

J. D. Salinger

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J. D. Salinger
Age: 91 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 1
Died: 2010
Died: January 27
Author
Novelist
Writer
New York City
New York
Jerome David Salinger
Jerome Salinger
Call
Hate
Holden
Morons
Catchers
Moron

More quotes by J. D. Salinger

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Zooey said... It would be very nice to come home and be in the wrong house. To eat dinner with the wrong people by mistake, sleep in the wrong bed by mistake, and kiss everybody good-bye in the morning thinking they were your own family.
J. D. Salinger
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People are always ruining things for you.
J. D. Salinger
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Sometimes you get tired of riding in taxicabs the same way you get tired riding in elevators. All of a sudden, you have to walk, no matter how far or how high up.
J. D. Salinger
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I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead.
J. D. Salinger
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It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt like you were disappearing every time you crossed a road.
J. D. Salinger
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In my mind, I'm probably the biggest sex maniac you ever saw.
J. D. Salinger
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Life is a gift horse in my opinion.
J. D. Salinger
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If sentiment doesn't ultimately make fibbers of some people, their natural abominable memories almost certainly will.
J. D. Salinger
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I was sixteen then, and I'm seventeen now, and sometimes I act like I'm about thirteen. Sometimes, I act a lot older than I am--I really do. But people never notice it. People never notice anything.
J. D. Salinger
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I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.
J. D. Salinger
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I mean most girls are so dumb and all. After you neck them for a while, you can really watch them losing their brains. You take a girl when she really gets passionate, she just hasn't any brains. -Holden Caulfield
J. D. Salinger
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You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phoney stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they're mean bastards at heart.
J. D. Salinger
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I think if you don't really like a girl, you shouldn't horse around with her at all, and if you do like her, then you're supposed to like her face, and if you like her face, you ought to be careful about doing crumby stuff to it, like squirting water all over it. It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.
J. D. Salinger
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I said old Jesus probably would've puked if He could see it - all those fancy costumes and all. Sally said I was a sacrilegious atheist. I probably am. The thing Jesus really would've liked would be the guy who plays the kettle drums in the orchestra.
J. D. Salinger
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I have scars on my hands from touching certain people…Certain heads, certain colours and textures of human hair leave permanent marks on me.
J. D. Salinger
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Happiness is a solid and joy is a liquid.
J. D. Salinger
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You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were happy. You really were.
J. D. Salinger
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I used to think she was quite intelligent , in my stupidity. The reason I did was because she knew quite a lot about the theater and plays and literature and all that stuff. If somebody knows quite a lot about all those things, it takes you quite a while to find out whether they're really stupid or not.
J. D. Salinger
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We don't talk, we hold forth. We don't converse, we expound.
J. D. Salinger
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That's the terrible part. I swear to God I'm a madman.
J. D. Salinger