Quote

If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.

J. B. Smoove

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J. B. Smoove
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Late
Cause
Causes
Asks
Comin
Stayed
Boss

More quotes by J. B. Smoove

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To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.
J. B. Smoove
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Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.
J. B. Smoove
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This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.
J. B. Smoove
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Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.
J. B. Smoove
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In my stand-up, I've always been loose. If there's a curtain onstage, I'll use that in my act. If there's a door, I'll use the door. I always like to use everything at my disposal, which makes each show a little different and a little more fun.
J. B. Smoove
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All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.
J. B. Smoove
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I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone I loved his physicality I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor.
J. B. Smoove
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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
J. B. Smoove
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It's not even race it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.
J. B. Smoove
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Women put guys through tests all the time.
J. B. Smoove
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What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
J. B. Smoove
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I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.
J. B. Smoove
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If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot.
J. B. Smoove
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I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use.
J. B. Smoove
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I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage.
J. B. Smoove
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You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?
J. B. Smoove
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You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.
J. B. Smoove
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I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.
J. B. Smoove
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People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.
J. B. Smoove
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I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into the mind of a kid.
J. B. Smoove