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It's not even race it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.
J. B. Smoove
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J. B. Smoove
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Race
Certain
Persons
Person
Even
Tang
Type
Gets
More quotes by J. B. Smoove
Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.
J. B. Smoove
If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.
J. B. Smoove
My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.
J. B. Smoove
I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.
J. B. Smoove
I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone I loved his physicality I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor.
J. B. Smoove
I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage.
J. B. Smoove
There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two.
J. B. Smoove
As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do.
J. B. Smoove
True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.
J. B. Smoove
I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things because I'd feel it's not me, and I wouldn't want to come on someone's project and flip that.
J. B. Smoove
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power wash his ass, f-ck my mail up, I don't care.
J. B. Smoove
That's what I am I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.
J. B. Smoove
I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into the mind of a kid.
J. B. Smoove
Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.
J. B. Smoove
I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.
J. B. Smoove
When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are dying. The next show, I try to repeat it, I can't do it. Because with the first audience that was our moment. It can't happen the same way again. We were all there: a certain type of people were at that show and we all got it.
J. B. Smoove
What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
J. B. Smoove
I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.
J. B. Smoove
I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.
J. B. Smoove
When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.
J. B. Smoove
