Quote

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

J. B. Smoove

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J. B. Smoove
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Phones
Stuff
Remember
Ever
Make
Tupperware
Toughest
Phone

More quotes by J. B. Smoove

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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
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I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.
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What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
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There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two.
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I live in New York right now but I'm originally from my daddy's nuts. We all are. Think about, we the lucky ones - we made it. You all are winners. That's the first race you ever won.
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My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power wash his ass, f-ck my mail up, I don't care.
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You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to me.
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I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage.
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Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.
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I should be European. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.
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A lot of comedians are selfish.
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I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.
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If I had signed my fourth season of SNL, I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity to do Curb Your Enthusiasm. If my buddy OG Pearson wouldn't have passed away, I wouldn't have been in L.A. for his memorial, and I would've never auditioned for Curb.
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Women put guys through tests all the time.
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I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a lot of physical comedy. That was my thing. I was a physical comedian. I did anything and everything from running on a treadmill, I can paint a picture on stage of anything.
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Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.
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I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.
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Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.
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I could never live with you not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.
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I was the hallway clown in high school.
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