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I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.

J. B. Smoove

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J. B. Smoove
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Time
Streets
Smarts
Cities
Ohio
Came
Mississippi
Guy
Somewhere
Living
Street
Firsts
York
First
Smart
Take
City

More quotes by J. B. Smoove

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I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.
J. B. Smoove
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Pursuing your dreams involves you accepting where you want to go. Don't allow anybody else to talk you out of things or discourage you from doing whatever you want to do. You can hold on to your dream and never pursue it or you can start pursuing it. If you can see it, or if you can envision it... it can happen.
J. B. Smoove
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This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.
J. B. Smoove
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I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.
J. B. Smoove
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Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print.
J. B. Smoove
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Curb Your Enthusiasm set me up so perfectly. That was one of my favorite shows before I got on it. That started a whole different level of a story for me. I didn't know how to process it until after I got on the show and realized what the purpose of it was.
J. B. Smoove
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My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power wash his ass, f-ck my mail up, I don't care.
J. B. Smoove
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There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two.
J. B. Smoove
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I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.
J. B. Smoove
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It's not even race it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.
J. B. Smoove
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My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.
J. B. Smoove
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Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.
J. B. Smoove
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I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I want to bring across. Once you figure out your brand and what you do, it's kind of easy at that. You end up getting your audience.
J. B. Smoove
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I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.
J. B. Smoove
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A lot of comedians are selfish.
J. B. Smoove
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People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.
J. B. Smoove
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I was the hallway clown in high school.
J. B. Smoove
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You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?
J. B. Smoove
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You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to me.
J. B. Smoove
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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
J. B. Smoove