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I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.
J. B. Smoove
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J. B. Smoove
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Machines
Soda
Door
Repair
Doors
Spray
Fire
Buttons
Used
Club
Everything
Bars
Done
Clubs
Different
Selling
Seltzer
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Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.
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Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.
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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
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A lot of comedians are selfish.
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You gotta improvise in life. You gotta improv if the police pull you over.
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Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.
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I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.
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I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.
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That's what I am I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.
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You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.
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If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.
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Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself.
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True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.
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I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use.
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I think comedy evolves constantly. I reinvent myself all the time. I always find a way to entertain myself because I truly believe you have to entertain yourself in order to relate it the right way to your audience.
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I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage.
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Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.
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Pursuing your dreams involves you accepting where you want to go. Don't allow anybody else to talk you out of things or discourage you from doing whatever you want to do. You can hold on to your dream and never pursue it or you can start pursuing it. If you can see it, or if you can envision it... it can happen.
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I could never live with you not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.
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Women put guys through tests all the time.
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