Quote

I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.

J. B. Smoove

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TAGS & TOPICS

J. B. Smoove
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Fire
Buttons
Used
Club
Everything
Bars
Done
Clubs
Different
Selling
Seltzer
Machines
Soda
Door
Repair
Doors
Spray

More quotes by J. B. Smoove

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It's not even race it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.
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Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
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Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.
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If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot.
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True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.
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Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.
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If I had signed my fourth season of SNL, I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity to do Curb Your Enthusiasm. If my buddy OG Pearson wouldn't have passed away, I wouldn't have been in L.A. for his memorial, and I would've never auditioned for Curb.
J. B. Smoove
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I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.
J. B. Smoove
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Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.
J. B. Smoove
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Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.
J. B. Smoove
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There's book smart, there is street smart, there's relationship smart, there's too many different kinds of smarts to know all of them. Everybody doesn't know every kind of smart. There's money smart, there's movie smart, there's computer smart. There's just too many different kinds of smarts for people to know all the smarts.
J. B. Smoove
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I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.
J. B. Smoove
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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
J. B. Smoove
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I should be European. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.
J. B. Smoove
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I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone I loved his physicality I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor.
J. B. Smoove
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To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.
J. B. Smoove
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I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a comedy show 12 stories up. I'm fearless about everything else.
J. B. Smoove
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I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.
J. B. Smoove
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I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS.
J. B. Smoove
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You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.
J. B. Smoove