Quote

That's what I am I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.

J. B. Smoove

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J. B. Smoove
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Time
Hydrated
Drip
Nutrients
Damn
Stills
Still
Littles
Little

More quotes by J. B. Smoove

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When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.
J. B. Smoove
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To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.
J. B. Smoove
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Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.
J. B. Smoove
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I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.
J. B. Smoove
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It's not even race it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.
J. B. Smoove
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Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself.
J. B. Smoove
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Women put guys through tests all the time.
J. B. Smoove
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I could never live with you not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.
J. B. Smoove
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I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage.
J. B. Smoove
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I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into the mind of a kid.
J. B. Smoove
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I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.
J. B. Smoove
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I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.
J. B. Smoove
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You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to me.
J. B. Smoove
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Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
J. B. Smoove
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I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.
J. B. Smoove
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When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.
J. B. Smoove
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Mel Gibson is losing it. I don't know how people still supporting this dude's movies like it's all good. That dude is nuts. All you gotta do is shut him down and don't support any of his movies.
J. B. Smoove
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A lot of comedians are selfish.
J. B. Smoove
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If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's like bringing Michael Jordan to your basketball team and telling him to just pass the ball and don't shoot.
J. B. Smoove
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What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
J. B. Smoove