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Women put guys through tests all the time.
J. B. Smoove
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J. B. Smoove
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Tests
Guys
Guy
Women
Time
More quotes by J. B. Smoove
When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.
J. B. Smoove
I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.
J. B. Smoove
A lot of comedians are selfish.
J. B. Smoove
As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do.
J. B. Smoove
I admire Russell Simmons. He is a successful dude that has done a little bit of everything. He keeps it moving, and he's still doing things. Larry David is also amazing. He is honest and blunt. A creative genius.
J. B. Smoove
Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?
J. B. Smoove
There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two.
J. B. Smoove
This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.
J. B. Smoove
You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?
J. B. Smoove
I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.
J. B. Smoove
When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.
J. B. Smoove
To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.
J. B. Smoove
Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.
J. B. Smoove
My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.
J. B. Smoove
My wife and I have been together for 11 years, and seven of those married. We got married on 07/07/07. We support each other 150 percent. We have fun. We are a modern-day Sonny & Cher. I don't sing. My wife sings. We're so different, but so alike. We got that ying and yang thing going on. You see it, but you don't know how it works.
J. B. Smoove
Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
J. B. Smoove
True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.
J. B. Smoove
I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into the mind of a kid.
J. B. Smoove
Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself.
J. B. Smoove
Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.
J. B. Smoove
