Quote

I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.

J. B. Smoove

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J. B. Smoove
Age: 59
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Jokes
Coming
Hell
White
Black
Night
Speakers
Club
Clubs

More quotes by J. B. Smoove

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I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone I loved his physicality I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor.
J. B. Smoove
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I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.
J. B. Smoove
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All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.
J. B. Smoove
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If I had signed my fourth season of SNL, I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity to do Curb Your Enthusiasm. If my buddy OG Pearson wouldn't have passed away, I wouldn't have been in L.A. for his memorial, and I would've never auditioned for Curb.
J. B. Smoove
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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
J. B. Smoove
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I live in New York right now but I'm originally from my daddy's nuts. We all are. Think about, we the lucky ones - we made it. You all are winners. That's the first race you ever won.
J. B. Smoove
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I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at SNL, I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you’re going to end up at.
J. B. Smoove
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My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power wash his ass, f-ck my mail up, I don't care.
J. B. Smoove
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What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
J. B. Smoove
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I could never live with you not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.
J. B. Smoove
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I try to dress smooth, I try to keep my face shaved, I try to keep my head cut. I try to do all the things to keep it smooth going!
J. B. Smoove
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I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.
J. B. Smoove
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People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on.
J. B. Smoove
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Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.
J. B. Smoove
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True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.
J. B. Smoove
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Before I got into stand-up, I used to be a hip-hop dancer in a crew, and my name was J. Smoove, and my partner was J. Groove.
J. B. Smoove
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Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.
J. B. Smoove
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It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies.
J. B. Smoove
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You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?
J. B. Smoove
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It's not even race it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.
J. B. Smoove