Quote

I could never live with you not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.

J. B. Smoove

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J. B. Smoove
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Work
Someone
Complain
Never
America
Racist
Men
Home
Complaining
People
Live
Cause
Come
Wife
Nothing
Causes
Need
White
Needs
Black

More quotes by J. B. Smoove

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You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world.
J. B. Smoove
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It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies.
J. B. Smoove
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You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?
J. B. Smoove
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Curb Your Enthusiasm set me up so perfectly. That was one of my favorite shows before I got on it. That started a whole different level of a story for me. I didn't know how to process it until after I got on the show and realized what the purpose of it was.
J. B. Smoove
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I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious.
J. B. Smoove
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I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I want to bring across. Once you figure out your brand and what you do, it's kind of easy at that. You end up getting your audience.
J. B. Smoove
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I just always found it easier to be the same guy onstage as you are offstage.
J. B. Smoove
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When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.
J. B. Smoove
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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
J. B. Smoove
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My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power wash his ass, f-ck my mail up, I don't care.
J. B. Smoove
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When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.
J. B. Smoove
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I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS.
J. B. Smoove
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I live in New York right now but I'm originally from my daddy's nuts. We all are. Think about, we the lucky ones - we made it. You all are winners. That's the first race you ever won.
J. B. Smoove
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I'm looking to be the next comedy mogul.
J. B. Smoove
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I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things because I'd feel it's not me, and I wouldn't want to come on someone's project and flip that.
J. B. Smoove
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I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use.
J. B. Smoove
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What happens in improv is you create your own storyline.
J. B. Smoove
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I think comedy evolves constantly. I reinvent myself all the time. I always find a way to entertain myself because I truly believe you have to entertain yourself in order to relate it the right way to your audience.
J. B. Smoove
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There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two.
J. B. Smoove
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This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.
J. B. Smoove