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I should be European. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.

J. B. Smoove

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J. B. Smoove
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: December 16
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Plymouth
North Carolina
Jerry Angelo Brooks
Jerry Brooks
Lean
Coats
European
Look
Looks
Long
Trench
Good
Trenches
Coat

More quotes by J. B. Smoove

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I drive a big Dodge truck. I drive American cars.
J. B. Smoove
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That's what I am I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.
J. B. Smoove
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When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way - a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.
J. B. Smoove
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I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a lot of physical comedy. That was my thing. I was a physical comedian. I did anything and everything from running on a treadmill, I can paint a picture on stage of anything.
J. B. Smoove
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There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two.
J. B. Smoove
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My wife and I have been together for 11 years, and seven of those married. We got married on 07/07/07. We support each other 150 percent. We have fun. We are a modern-day Sonny & Cher. I don't sing. My wife sings. We're so different, but so alike. We got that ying and yang thing going on. You see it, but you don't know how it works.
J. B. Smoove
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I admire Russell Simmons. He is a successful dude that has done a little bit of everything. He keeps it moving, and he's still doing things. Larry David is also amazing. He is honest and blunt. A creative genius.
J. B. Smoove
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Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.
J. B. Smoove
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Women put guys through tests all the time.
J. B. Smoove
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I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.
J. B. Smoove
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I try to dress smooth, I try to keep my face shaved, I try to keep my head cut. I try to do all the things to keep it smooth going!
J. B. Smoove
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Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.
J. B. Smoove
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To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the one move that he always does to finish his opponent off, right? Like when he climbs on the rope, and he always jumps off the top rope and finishes off his opponent - that's what a comic has.
J. B. Smoove
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My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.
J. B. Smoove
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This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.
J. B. Smoove
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I'm looking to be the next comedy mogul.
J. B. Smoove
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When I started stand-up, the first thing I did was to take an improv class.
J. B. Smoove
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Curb Your Enthusiasm set me up so perfectly. That was one of my favorite shows before I got on it. That started a whole different level of a story for me. I didn't know how to process it until after I got on the show and realized what the purpose of it was.
J. B. Smoove
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It's not even race it's a certain type of person that gets 'Pootie Tang.
J. B. Smoove
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It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies.
J. B. Smoove