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When anyone makes comments that are offensive to you, would you be willing to do the teaching?
Iyanla Vanzant
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Iyanla Vanzant
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 13
Motivational Speaker
Spiritual Teacher
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Rhonda Eva Harris
Comments
Offensive
Comment
Teaching
Willing
Anyone
Makes
Would
More quotes by Iyanla Vanzant
What looks like a failure teaches us what not to do, what does not work. We have lessons to learn from our experiences.
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Love is durable. It's like Teflon. ...Trust is like fine china. Secrets destroy trust.
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Feminine power is silent, dark, mysterious, healing, nurturing. A woman can walk into a room and control it. She doesn't even have to open her mouth if she knows where her power is.
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Perhaps you went to bed last night thinking about the overdue bills, the lack of finances, the problematic people and situations you have to face. This morning you woke up. Did you give thanks? If you didn't, it is probably because you forgot that when praise goes up, the blessings come down. That should be enough to inspire you to be thankful.
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As people, we have forgotten to be people. We know how to be doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers, we know what to do, we know what to buy, but how do I just sit with you in your pain? How do I sit with you in your vulnerability and not betray you, not abuse you? We do not know how to do that, even in our homes.
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Anger simply means that your personal power - your personal space, your personal sense of being - has been violated
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Loving yourself has nothing to do with being selfish, self-centered or self-engrossed. It means that you accept yourself for what you are. Loving yourself means that you accept responsibility for your own development, growth and happiness.
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My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he became the filter through which I saw myself, the possibilities for my life, the world and all men. He was a conflicted and dark filter.
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If someone has offended you, insulted you, or disappointed you, let it go! If you are remembering all the ways you have been hurt or forgotten, let it go! Ask yourself, what good does it do for me to hold on to this?
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Trying to prove something to someone is never a valid reason for doing anything.
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The goal isn't to be perfect, but to be authentic!
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You can't look outside of yourself. You must look within yourself, and address all of the things that are going on within you, and clear out the things that are not useful. Whether it's fear or anger or shame or guilt or whatever it is - clean that stuff up.
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When we want to move beyond the pain, when we want to feel better, when we are ready to move beyond where we are, emotionally and spiritually, we must forgive.
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People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are!
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One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I call the BPs - blame and projection.
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We have a tendency to always test people's love. 'I want to see how badly I have to behave before you'll leave me. Because I don't really think you want me anyhow.'
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You cannot experience the fullness of your authentic self or life when you live to avoid hurt. You will never know the joy of love or the peaceful satisfaction of being loved if you hide from hurt.
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When your way doesn't work, don't be disheartened. You must be willing to try another way. A closed door doesn't mean you have been cut off permanently. It is a challenge, an obstacle, a tool to be used.
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The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don't want.
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It is not your duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. The nature of their thinking is advanced or limited by their experience. In your presence, they have an opportunity to learn about you and, perhaps, to grow.
Iyanla Vanzant