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One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I call the BPs - blame and projection.

Iyanla Vanzant

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Iyanla Vanzant
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 13
Motivational Speaker
Spiritual Teacher
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Rhonda Eva Harris
Way
Blame
People
Role
Taking
Roles
Ways
Responsibility
Call
Projection
Pain
Avoid

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Begin within. If it shows up in your life, it's coming to tell you something about you that you're acting like you don't know. Something about yourself, or your relationship with God.
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Tell the truth about who you are, what you feel, what you want, what you're up to. Tell the truth about that first to yourself and then to anybody else that'll listen.
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You cannot experience the fullness of your authentic self or life when you live to avoid hurt. You will never know the joy of love or the peaceful satisfaction of being loved if you hide from hurt.
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You are always being prepared for something better or protected from something worse.
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Until you are willing to accept total and complete responsibility for every aspect of your life, your life will keep sending you experiences designed to get your attention.
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You must be willing to give total unconditional love to everyone, under all circumstances. That means being willing to be totally responsible for what you do and how you do it.
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Sometimes you have to lose everything in order to gain yourself.
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Acceptance means that you know, regardless of what happened, that there is something bigger than you at work. It also means you know that you are okay and that you will continue to be okay.
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Every day is your day if you claim it. If you wait for somebody else to make it for you, you're going to be disappointed.
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Just for today, allow yourself to embrace all that you are every moment. Know that you are a vessel of light. Allow yourself to release all doubts about your ability, the mistakes of the past, the fear of the future.
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Never underestimate the ruthlessness of the ego to keep you in a state of suffering in which you voluntarily participate.
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My grandma always said, Trouble is what God uses to prepare you for better things! If you have trouble in your life, you are in a valley. If you are in a valley, you are being prepared for something bigger, better, greater something you probably could not handle now.
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No matter how painful your past has been, you have made it through.
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Pain is pain, hurt is hurt, fear is fear, anger is anger, and it has no color.
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Everyone has a purpose because God is a purposeful God.
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When you believe, or are led to believe, you are unable to act upon the greatest desires of the soul, the result is mental and spiritual enslavement.
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You are the only one who can do it like you do it. You are the best. You have what it takes. You have the power. When you put your mind to something, you get it done. So what are you waiting for?
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Have the courage to be exactly who you are without apology. Admit your mistakes without beating yourself up. Release all shame! Release all guilt! You cannot live if you are hiding behind what was. Focus on what is, right now, and that is you!
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If it's not your story to tell, you don't tell it.
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It’s self-full to be first, to be as good as possible to you. To take care of you, keep you whole and healthy. That doesn’t mean you disregard everything and everyone. But you want to come with your cup full. You know: ‘My cup runneth over.’ What comes out of the cup is for y’all. What’s in the cup is mine. But I’ve got to keep my cup full.
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