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One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I call the BPs - blame and projection.
Iyanla Vanzant
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Iyanla Vanzant
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 13
Motivational Speaker
Spiritual Teacher
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Rhonda Eva Harris
Responsibility
Call
Projection
Pain
Avoid
Way
Blame
People
Role
Taking
Roles
Ways
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You are always being prepared for something better or protected from something worse.
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You can't do anything as long as you are afraid of what might happen. Fear clouds opportunities, erases possibilities, and limits the ability to move beyond the place in which the mind is stuck. No matter how difficult we think the problem is, we must muster up the courage to face it.
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I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I am more troubled by the lack of space being provided for the truth to unfold. Humans cannot seem to wait for or honor the truth. Instead, we make it up based on who we believe people should or should not be.
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If you don't enjoy your life, sorrow, sadness, suffering, fear, shame and guilt will.
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I am the one I have been looking for.
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I learned that telling the truth was a big part of loving yourself.
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I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
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Everything you have done and been through is valuable and important. In order to be who you are, to know what you know, to be where you are in this moment, you needed to go through what you went through.
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When was the last time you thanked you for always being there for you? Self appreciation soothes an aching soul.
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You can't look outside of yourself. You must look within yourself, and address all of the things that are going on within you, and clear out the things that are not useful. Whether it's fear or anger or shame or guilt or whatever it is - clean that stuff up.
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Instead of running from what you don't want, walk with commitment toward what you desire. Focus on where you are going rather than being obsessed with where you have been.
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You will stumble at time, forget what you want, fall headfirst into your old habits and beliefs. Fear not! Always remember to be patient and loving with yourself and others because that is what God does all the time.
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Never judge your clarity based on someone else's response.
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Stay in your car in your lane on your road in your world. Stay in your own lane. Don't be minding other people's spiritual business. Stay in your car. In your lane. On your road. In your world.
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In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie about who we are, what we want, what we need, what we have done or will do. Perhaps 'lie' is too strong a word. Let me say that what we do is withhold the truth.
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Thinking is the problem. Thinking is hazardous to your progress in life. Don't think - feel.
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Who you are is strong enough to bare your pain
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You know when I was 20 and 30, they were insecurities. Now they're just a new normal. I'm 60 years old, so my expectations of who I am and how I look and how I show up in the world had to shift. Not because I couldn't help it, or not because I did anything wrong, but because I had to get into the natural flow of my being as a woman.
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In all relationships, regardless of their nature, there comes that moment when you understand that there are some things you will never understand. When you are standing in that moment, just be right with it.
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When you can look a thing dead in the eye, acknowledge that it exists, call it exactly what it is, and decide what role it will take in your life then, my Beloved, you have taken the first step toward your freedom.
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