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Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie.
Ilona Andrews
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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews
What kind of woman greets the Beast Lord with 'here, kitty, kitty'?
Ilona Andrews
Your favorite volhv showed up half an hour ago, complaining about his lack of sleep and stupid gods. He says he brought his Batman belt.
Ilona Andrews
Had records so stellar, they had to lock their resumes in a drawer at night, so the golden light streaming from the pages wouldn't keep them awake.
Ilona Andrews
I'm counting to ten in my head. Is it helping? No. It doesn't help me with you either. I used to life weights to alleviate frustration, but someone blowtorched my weight bench. How did you do it, by the way? I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.
Ilona Andrews
Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix. Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.
Ilona Andrews
You sure you don’t want me to stay? I’ll make you coffee and ask you about your day.
Ilona Andrews
You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
Ilona Andrews
Enough, Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I crossed my arms. I'm sorry, is this the part where I fall to my knees and shiver in fear, Your Furriness? Silly me, I didn't get the memo.
Ilona Andrews
There was something very comforting about him, and I was not sure if it was his easy manner or his complete immunity to my scowling.
Ilona Andrews
What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.
Ilona Andrews
Rene looked at Grendel. “What in the world is that?” “That’s our mutant attack poodle,” I told her. “Is he chewing on a gun?
Ilona Andrews
I wondered if kicking him in the head would make the whole explanation pop out of his mouth in one chunk.
Ilona Andrews
When you walk a dog on a short leash, she's close enough to bite you.
Ilona Andrews
Aha, Andrea said. I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'.
Ilona Andrews
Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?” “I have spies everywhere.” I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. “She had tea with Mahon’s wife.” Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. “You and I need to work on your air of mystery.
Ilona Andrews
Screwy, I said. Is that a medical term? Of course.
Ilona Andrews
If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.
Ilona Andrews
Wiggles hissed as I crossed the floor toward the throne. She fixed me with her empty hateful eyes and smelled the air, her long tongue shivering through the slit of the lipless mouth. Nice to see you too, sweetheart. Remember my cattle prod?
Ilona Andrews
If I lose control, you'll be the first to know. I'm quite perturbed by the idea.
Ilona Andrews
We can do subtle, I assured her. It's our middle name, Andrea added. For some odd reason Rene didn't look convinced.
Ilona Andrews
