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Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie.
Ilona Andrews
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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews
Tiny gold sparks flared in his irises. You're in my rooms in my bathtub naked and you're still mouthing off. Did he expect anything different? Hey, I didn't kick or punch you in the throat. I consider this progress. And you haven't choked me again, which is some sort of record for you.
Ilona Andrews
Go to the Black Sea, meet new people, see beautiful places, get killed by a mutant carnivorous kangaroo goat. One item off my bucket list.
Ilona Andrews
I love you, and you're the measure of my wrath. Declan.
Ilona Andrews
Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork? Yep. Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork? Nope it's a pie.
Ilona Andrews
Roland had sworn off children—they kept trying to kill him.
Ilona Andrews
I just had to stay cool. Zen. No punching in the face. Punching would not be Zen.
Ilona Andrews
Isn’t that why you have that gun mounted on the front? Or is it for other reasons, because I would’ve thought that a man with your powers would be past the urge to compensate.” Barabas grinned. “I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus,” Saiman said dryly. “Thank you for reminding me.” “Always happy to oblige.
Ilona Andrews
Congratulations, love. You traded up. Does he treat you well?' 'He's a teddy bear,' I said. Teddy bear looked like he was suffering from murder withdrawal. (Rene and Kate on Jim!)
Ilona Andrews
Shapeshifter parenting motto—if your kid slit somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.
Ilona Andrews
Our stares connected and we were quiet for a long minute, united by our misery. At least he understood me and I understood him. A fine pair we make,” he said. Yeah.
Ilona Andrews
She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops.
Ilona Andrews
You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep. I only did it once. Once was weird enough, thank you.
Ilona Andrews
Cough clenched, and vomited something chunky into the grass. Terrific. The big dog sat on his haunches and looked at William with a perplexed expression on his face. Well, eat it back up, William hissed. Don't waste it. Cough gave a tiny whine. I'm not eating your puke. Cough panted at him. No.
Ilona Andrews
You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword I hit him with my head, like a moron.
Ilona Andrews
The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed. See? Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. That's how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do just like them.
Ilona Andrews
Curran and I mixed about as well as glycerin and nitric acid: put us together, shake a bit, and hit the deck as we exploded.
Ilona Andrews
Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me.
Ilona Andrews
He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?
Ilona Andrews
« He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast Lord style.
Ilona Andrews
Oh no, is it naked time?
Ilona Andrews
