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Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.
Ilona Andrews
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Shave that jaw, brush that hair, tone down the crazy in the eyes, and he would have to fight women off with that crossbow.
Ilona Andrews
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Did I ever tell you that you are like sunshine in the middle of the night?
Ilona Andrews
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When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out. I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time?
Ilona Andrews
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On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you're getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.
Ilona Andrews
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One day, she’d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it.
Ilona Andrews
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Magic could not be measured and explained in scientific terms, for magic grew through destroying the very natural principles that made science as people knew it impossible.
Ilona Andrews
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If he full-out flexed, I would probably faint, or jump off the building.
Ilona Andrews
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What do you do to your hair? Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil. Ever thought of patenting the recipe? No.
Ilona Andrews
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I sighed and put Slayer between the front seats. Stay here. Guard the car. Saiman shut the door. Is the sword sentient? No. But I like to pretend it is.
Ilona Andrews
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Where is Arland? Rapunzel decided to walk around in the woods to get 'the feel of the battleground.' He won't leave the grounds and he promises to defend the inn with 'all the strength in his body.' I told him if he gets in trouble, he should try singing prettily so his woodland friends will come to the rescue. I don't think he got it.
Ilona Andrews
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May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you'll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now.
Ilona Andrews
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Every handsome man had a flaw. It was just her luck that in William's case that flaw was lunacy.
Ilona Andrews
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Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. “I’m just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?” “Sure.” Thirty seconds later, as I was flying through the air, I decided that this wasn’t the best idea.
Ilona Andrews
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Tiny gold sparks flared in his irises. You're in my rooms in my bathtub naked and you're still mouthing off. Did he expect anything different? Hey, I didn't kick or punch you in the throat. I consider this progress. And you haven't choked me again, which is some sort of record for you.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran struck at my wrist. His fingers were cat-quick, but I had spent my life honing my reflexes, and he missed. “Well, look at that.” I studied my free wrist. “Denied. Good-bye
Ilona Andrews
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Other pirates leaped over the railing. One, two... seven... thirteen. A baker’s dozen. Wait, fifteen. Eighteen... Twenty-one. The odds weren’t in our favor. “Maybe they just came over to borrow a cup of sugar,” I said. Andrea barked a short laugh. Curran put his hand on my shoulder. “That’s a lot of sugar. Must be a big cake.
Ilona Andrews
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If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.
Ilona Andrews
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Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?” His eyes flashed. “Got any to spare?” I could’ve picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right.
Ilona Andrews
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Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?” “I have spies everywhere.” I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. “She had tea with Mahon’s wife.” Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. “You and I need to work on your air of mystery.
Ilona Andrews