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So. You refuse my money, you serve me thirty-year-old Highland Park scotch, and we've been in the same room for approximately five minutes, yet none of my bones are broken. This leads me to believe that your back is against the wall and you desperately need me for something. I'm dying to know what that is.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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I could have fixed almost everything else, but death defeated me every time.
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What kind of woman greets the Beast Lord with 'here, kitty, kitty'?
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Shifting in the hospital bed had blown her closet door wide open.
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One day, she’d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it.
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On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.
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I have a vamp body for you, Andrea said. It's in the freezer. I gave her a nice smile. You shouldn't have.
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Had he expected me to hump her leg?
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Grandpa? Declan raised his eyebrows. We keep him in the shed out back, Jack said helpfully. So he doesn't eat dog brains.
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I turned and bumped by head against his chest a few times. It was the nearest hard surface.
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He caressed my cheek. You came for me, I whispered. Always, he told me.
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And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot. She raised her hand. Don't. It was awesome, George confirmed. It really was, Jack said. His head exploded.
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Sure, I didn't weigh a hundred and ten pounds , but my narrow waist let me bend and I could break a man's neck with my kick.
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Curran looked back at me. Why is it you always attract creeps? You tell me. Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.
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Since we’re playing that game… I tilted my face up to his and gave him a lovesick gaze. “Do you have to sneeze?” he asked. “Be quiet. I’m pretending to enjoy your company, just as you said.” “Try not to strain anything.” “Oh, I won’t. I’m very good at faking it.” That shut him up.
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If I lose control, you'll be the first to know. I'm quite perturbed by the idea.
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I'm going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly.
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Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything.
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I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you? Lord. I rolled my eyes. He shrugged. It's short.
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…Something isn’t right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I don’t know what is going on, but I will find out. You could make it easier on yourself by coming clean.” “Sure. This is a magic bed-and-breakfast and the two guys in my kitchen are aliens from outerspace.
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