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Would you care for something to drink?” “Is it poisoned?” “It’s Saturday,” I said. “We only serve poison during the week.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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When walking into the lair of the dragon after robbing his hoard, the least you could do is hold you head high [...]
Ilona Andrews
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Butterflies were small and light, and very magic sensitive. For some reason I made them feel safe and they gravitated to me like iron shavings to a magnet. They ruined my ferocious badass image, but you'd have to be a complete beast to swat butterflies.
Ilona Andrews
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We were screwed and he didn't even kiss us first.
Ilona Andrews
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People can snap. People have a limit. And some people are just plain nuts.
Ilona Andrews
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I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.
Ilona Andrews
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You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you? The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. Sure, do you have one handy?
Ilona Andrews
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The dark scary servant of all evil was on his way to rescue me. Somehow that thought failed to make me warm and fuzzy.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran and I mixed about as well as glycerin and nitric acid: put us together, shake a bit, and hit the deck as we exploded.
Ilona Andrews
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Only poor people are weird. Rich people are eccentric.
Ilona Andrews
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Enough, Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I crossed my arms. I'm sorry, is this the part where I fall to my knees and shiver in fear, Your Furriness? Silly me, I didn't get the memo.
Ilona Andrews
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And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot. She raised her hand. Don't. It was awesome, George confirmed. It really was, Jack said. His head exploded.
Ilona Andrews
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Getting a lecture on restraint from the woman who threw a hissy fit and blew up Babylon.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran gave me a flat look. I can always drive to a burger joint instead. Oh, so you'd throw a burger down my throat and expect making out in the back seat? He grinned. We can do it in the front seat instead, if you prefer. Or on the hood of the car. I'm not doing it on the hood of the car. Is that a dare? Why me?
Ilona Andrews
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Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.
Ilona Andrews
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I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus. Saiman said dryly. Thank you for reminding me. Always happy to oblige.
Ilona Andrews
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On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.
Ilona Andrews
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Who is Hunter Becker? Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston? I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing.
Ilona Andrews
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He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps. I win.
Ilona Andrews
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My ego doesn't need soothing. I don't want him soothing anything of mine, including you.
Ilona Andrews
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You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep. I only did it once. Once was weird enough, thank you.
Ilona Andrews