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What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?” “No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house. “On yours or mine?” “On yours.” “Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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I'm welding the bimbo room shut.
Ilona Andrews
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He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her.
Ilona Andrews
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Is there anything else you need to tell me?” Every time I look at you, I have to put a leash on myself. “No.
Ilona Andrews
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Screwy, I said. Is that a medical term? Of course.
Ilona Andrews
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Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?
Ilona Andrews
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If the lot of you survives, Curran will fray the skin off your backs,' Doolittle said. 'That's what I always love about you, Doctor.' Raphael grinned. 'You're a cup-halfway-full kind of guy. All flowers and sunshine.
Ilona Andrews
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You say the sweetest things. And that spaghetti perfume you're wearing is to die for. No hobo could resist. She snarled. Heh.
Ilona Andrews
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Well, check this out. Mine is bigger.
Ilona Andrews
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He caressed my cheek. You came for me, I whispered. Always, he told me.
Ilona Andrews
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Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics.
Ilona Andrews
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Shifting in the hospital bed had blown her closet door wide open.
Ilona Andrews
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For a second I thought I might actually be alive, I said, looking at Nick's unshaven face. Now I know- I've gone to Hell and you're my nursemaid.
Ilona Andrews
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I will devour you. I will lick your bones clean and crush them between my teeth. I will suck the marrow…” “That’s nice,” Kate said. “The shield.
Ilona Andrews
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Give me a few minutes.” “You have time.” He sat in the grass. “Are you just going to sit there and watch me?” “Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best.” “Peasant?” He shrugged. “You started the name calling.
Ilona Andrews
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He groaned and I saw his face. Curran! I would've preferred a homicidal lunatic. Oh, wait...
Ilona Andrews
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And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot. She raised her hand. Don't. It was awesome, George confirmed. It really was, Jack said. His head exploded.
Ilona Andrews
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On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.
Ilona Andrews
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Voshak's hair, a pale blond braid, which he bleached, was his trademark. It made him memorable. That's how the slavers operated. They adopted costumes and personas, trying to make themselves larger-than-life and hoping to inspire fear. They counted on that fear. One could fight a man, but nobody could fight a nightmare.
Ilona Andrews
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It took a qualified wizard to detect a summoning in progress. It required only a half-literate idiot with a twitch of power and a dim idea of how to use it to attempt one. Before you knew it, a three-headed Slavonic god was wreaking havoc in downtown Atlanta, the skies were raining winged snakes, and SWAT was screaming for more ammo.
Ilona Andrews
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He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps. I win.
Ilona Andrews