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Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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You’re the most experienced investigator I’ve got who’s not tied up in something, and I can’t ask the Consort to look look into it, because A) she and Curran are working on something else and B) when the Consort gets involved, half of the world blows up.
Ilona Andrews
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Congratulations, love. You traded up. Does he treat you well?' 'He's a teddy bear,' I said. Teddy bear looked like he was suffering from murder withdrawal. (Rene and Kate on Jim!)
Ilona Andrews
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They had picked up Julie's scent hit wolfsbane lost her and found her trail again at the crumbling Highway 23 except it was two hours old and mixed with horse scents. She was hitchhiking. Great. Awesome. At least she always carried a knife with her. When I relayed this to Curran he shrugged and said, If she kills anybody we'll make it go away.
Ilona Andrews
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I batted my eyelashes and did my best to appear dumb as a board
Ilona Andrews
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What do you do to your hair? Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil. Ever thought of patenting the recipe? No.
Ilona Andrews
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You say the sweetest things. And that spaghetti perfume you're wearing is to die for. No hobo could resist. She snarled. Heh.
Ilona Andrews
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Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind . . . I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.
Ilona Andrews
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Our standard rate. A doubloon a day. It was generous. More than generous--some families would put him up for a week for a single coin. Half a doubloon a day, she said. No, you see, the idea behind bargaining is that you ask for a larger amount.
Ilona Andrews
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The Beast Lord way: often wrong but never in doubt.
Ilona Andrews
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If you don't explain it all to me, I might strangle somebody. Of course, Raphael might like that.
Ilona Andrews
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Had records so stellar, they had to lock their resumes in a drawer at night, so the golden light streaming from the pages wouldn't keep them awake.
Ilona Andrews
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When walking into the lair of the dragon after robbing his hoard, the least you could do is hold you head high [...]
Ilona Andrews
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Voshak's hair, a pale blond braid, which he bleached, was his trademark. It made him memorable. That's how the slavers operated. They adopted costumes and personas, trying to make themselves larger-than-life and hoping to inspire fear. They counted on that fear. One could fight a man, but nobody could fight a nightmare.
Ilona Andrews
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I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you participate in this lunacy, y'all will get yourselves killed. Then don't come crying to me.' Now that would be a neat trick.
Ilona Andrews
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I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea’s neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend’s windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas.
Ilona Andrews
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What kind of woman greets the Beast Lord with 'here, kitty, kitty'?
Ilona Andrews
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On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you're getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.
Ilona Andrews
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Let’s talk.” I pinned Red to his chair with my stare. I did deranged quite well, when the occasion required.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran gave me a flat look. I can always drive to a burger joint instead. Oh, so you'd throw a burger down my throat and expect making out in the back seat? He grinned. We can do it in the front seat instead, if you prefer. Or on the hood of the car. I'm not doing it on the hood of the car. Is that a dare? Why me?
Ilona Andrews
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Enough, Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I crossed my arms. I'm sorry, is this the part where I fall to my knees and shiver in fear, Your Furriness? Silly me, I didn't get the memo.
Ilona Andrews