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What do you do to your hair? Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil. Ever thought of patenting the recipe? No.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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You slept with Curran and you didn’t tell me? I’m your best friend.” “It didn’t come up.” “How disappointing for you.” Ha-ha. “That’s not what I meant.
Ilona Andrews
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Every handsome man had a flaw. It was just her luck that in William's case that flaw was lunacy.
Ilona Andrews
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Yes I can,” Curran snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.” I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.
Ilona Andrews
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Syphilis. Lots and lots of magically delicious Syphilis.
Ilona Andrews
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On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you're getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.
Ilona Andrews
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I want to punish them. I want that punishment to be so hard, so vicious that the next who takes their place wets himself at the mere thought of trying to fight me.
Ilona Andrews
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People can snap. People have a limit. And some people are just plain nuts.
Ilona Andrews
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I can't hate people that much. Don't get me wrong. I want to murder every last Keeper I can find. But that's not hate. That's vengeance.
Ilona Andrews
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The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head. The T-shirt has a smiley face on it.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm sorry about the dinner. Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome.
Ilona Andrews
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You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
Ilona Andrews
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Secret to what? Secret to shutting you up, he said. I just have to beat you till you're half-dead, then give you chicken soup and--he raised his hands--blessed silence.
Ilona Andrews
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I wondered if kicking him in the head would make the whole explanation pop out of his mouth in one chunk.
Ilona Andrews
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I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you participate in this lunacy, y'all will get yourselves killed. Then don't come crying to me.' Now that would be a neat trick.
Ilona Andrews
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And men my prophet wail deride!
Ilona Andrews
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How is it that I could run into a gunfight against overwhelming odds and put myself between bullets and civilians, but I couldn't scrape together enough courage to speak to the one person who mattered the most to me?
Ilona Andrews
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Since we’re playing that game… I tilted my face up to his and gave him a lovesick gaze. “Do you have to sneeze?” he asked. “Be quiet. I’m pretending to enjoy your company, just as you said.” “Try not to strain anything.” “Oh, I won’t. I’m very good at faking it.” That shut him up.
Ilona Andrews
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Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind . . . I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.
Ilona Andrews
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Let’s talk.” I pinned Red to his chair with my stare. I did deranged quite well, when the occasion required.
Ilona Andrews
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I just had to stay cool. Zen. No punching in the face. Punching would not be Zen.
Ilona Andrews