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Screwy, I said. Is that a medical term? Of course.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Screwy
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.
Ilona Andrews
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Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix. Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.
Ilona Andrews
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People think I built the Pack, because I'm the guy who has the welfare of all shapeshifters in mind. They're wrong. Everything I built, I did so that when I mate and have children, nobody can touch my family. (...) I built all this so I can protect you.
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You know anything about investigative work? Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.
Ilona Andrews
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How is it that I could run into a gunfight against overwhelming odds and put myself between bullets and civilians, but I couldn't scrape together enough courage to speak to the one person who mattered the most to me?
Ilona Andrews
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What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.
Ilona Andrews
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Aha, Andrea said. I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'.
Ilona Andrews
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You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you? The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. Sure, do you have one handy?
Ilona Andrews
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Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.
Ilona Andrews
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At the door, Audrey called, Are you coming? No, just breathing hard, love. He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, Oh, my God!
Ilona Andrews
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Had records so stellar, they had to lock their resumes in a drawer at night, so the golden light streaming from the pages wouldn't keep them awake.
Ilona Andrews
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Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me.
Ilona Andrews
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What do you do to your hair? Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil. Ever thought of patenting the recipe? No.
Ilona Andrews
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Because you are the one. You are better than me in some things, and I am better than you in others...I don’t mind being a bit like you. I hope you don’t mind being a bit like me.
Ilona Andrews
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If you come back to me, I'll never leave you, I whispered into the furry ear. I'll make you all the pies you could ever eat.
Ilona Andrews
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Why couldn't she have gotten another Edger or some dimwit from the Broken for a passenger? No, she got Lord Leather Pants here.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm welding the bimbo room shut.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft. I bet. He almost purred. I gulped.
Ilona Andrews
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On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.
Ilona Andrews
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Now Julie could stay here, in the Keep full of homicidal maniacs who grew teeth the size of switchblades and erupted into a violent frenzy when threatened.
Ilona Andrews