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Screwy, I said. Is that a medical term? Of course.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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Screwy
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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I took the jacket off, changed my T-shirt for a dark gray tank top, slipped on the tangle of the back sheath, and put the jacket on again. Thugs are us. Great. Just add a super-tight ponytail and loads of mascara, and I’d be ripe to play a supervillain’s evil mistress. Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample.
Ilona Andrews
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You say the sweetest things. And that spaghetti perfume you're wearing is to die for. No hobo could resist. She snarled. Heh.
Ilona Andrews
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Would you care for something to drink?” “Is it poisoned?” “It’s Saturday,” I said. “We only serve poison during the week.
Ilona Andrews
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Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix. Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.
Ilona Andrews
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On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.
Ilona Andrews
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The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey. You're drinking tea a honey badger made, Jim said. What did you expect?
Ilona Andrews
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Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind . . . I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.
Ilona Andrews
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He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her.
Ilona Andrews
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I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea’s neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend’s windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas.
Ilona Andrews
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I closed my eyes. “Are you okay?” “I’m tired. My knee is hurting again and I’m trying to teleport myself upstairs.” “Um, Kate, you can’t do that.” “I know. But I’m trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading?
Ilona Andrews
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It's awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage?
Ilona Andrews
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I love you, and you're the measure of my wrath. Declan.
Ilona Andrews
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« Barabas pulled Christopher out of the cage. The man stared up at him. “I died, didn’t I? Are you an angel?” “Sure,” Barabas said. “Follow me to the Heavenly Shower »
Ilona Andrews
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A pissy werelion was rather difficult to live with.
Ilona Andrews
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I don't trust tragedies much. It's easy to make a person sad by showing him something tragic. We all recognize when sad things happen: someone dies, someone loses a loved one, young love is crushed. It's much harder to make a man laugh-what's funny to one person isn't funny to another.
Ilona Andrews
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Every handsome man had a flaw. It was just her luck that in William's case that flaw was lunacy.
Ilona Andrews
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He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?
Ilona Andrews
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If you come, you better come in force because I will kill every single one of you. My hand won't shake, my aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die. I jammed my knife into the table and walked out.
Ilona Andrews
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You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you? The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. Sure, do you have one handy?
Ilona Andrews
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Having a fling with you doesn't appeal to me. You're handsome, but you're too inexperienced to be good in bed. Having ridden many horses doesn't make you a good rider it just proves that you can't recognize a good one or don't know how to keep her.
Ilona Andrews