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Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
Package
Packages
Return
Humor
Sense
Order
Part
Severance

More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.
Ilona Andrews
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The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey. You're drinking tea a honey badger made, Jim said. What did you expect?
Ilona Andrews
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You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep. I only did it once. Once was weird enough, thank you.
Ilona Andrews
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Every time I think you’ve reached the limits of arrogance, you show me new heights. Truly, your egotism is like the Universe—ever expanding.
Ilona Andrews
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Aha! So I’m not crazy.” “You are most definitely crazy,” Derek said. “But in a deranged, endearing way.
Ilona Andrews
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What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?” “No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house. “On yours or mine?” “On yours.” “Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.
Ilona Andrews
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Roland had sworn off children—they kept trying to kill him.
Ilona Andrews
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Now Julie could stay here, in the Keep full of homicidal maniacs who grew teeth the size of switchblades and erupted into a violent frenzy when threatened.
Ilona Andrews
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A pissy werelion was rather difficult to live with.
Ilona Andrews
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Sure, I didn't weigh a hundred and ten pounds , but my narrow waist let me bend and I could break a man's neck with my kick.
Ilona Andrews
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Does Curran not involve you in his strategic sessions?” Ghastek asked. “Nope, I’m just here to look pretty.
Ilona Andrews
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Strawberry Shortcake called, she wants her outfit back
Ilona Andrews
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Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. Screw you! Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way. Whatever!
Ilona Andrews
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Oh, it's you, Curran's voice said quietly. I thought it was an elephant.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft. I bet. He almost purred. I gulped.
Ilona Andrews
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Two years? That's entirely too long. If you want, we can take care of that. After two years it's pure therapy.
Ilona Andrews
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Wiggles hissed as I crossed the floor toward the throne. She fixed me with her empty hateful eyes and smelled the air, her long tongue shivering through the slit of the lipless mouth. Nice to see you too, sweetheart. Remember my cattle prod?
Ilona Andrews
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She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops.
Ilona Andrews
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You’re the most experienced investigator I’ve got who’s not tied up in something, and I can’t ask the Consort to look look into it, because A) she and Curran are working on something else and B) when the Consort gets involved, half of the world blows up.
Ilona Andrews
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Mmmm, Kate, the Chief of Security. Sexy. Who better to guard my body then the woman who owns it? Curran, I will punch you.
Ilona Andrews