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Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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How was I supposed to know that you let two little bears hurt you, Goldilocks? Ah, yes, that mouth. I missed it. All mine now.
Ilona Andrews
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He strained to say something else. I leaned toward him. He focused on me. “Rape,” he promised. “Many, many times. Until you bleed . . .” “I’m so flattered.
Ilona Andrews
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You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right? Meant every word. A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, Baby. No. He laughed. You should see your face right now. Don't call me that. Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'? He winked.
Ilona Andrews
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Rose pictured him standing at the boundary of the Ogletree house in that enormous fur cape, with a giant sword sticking over his shoulder, roaring at the top of his lungs and then being upset that nobody came out, and laughed.
Ilona Andrews
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He bared his teeth in a happy feral grin. My own personal psycho.
Ilona Andrews
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I finally realized the source of your mutual attraction, Saiman said, his voice dry. You both think violence is foreplay.
Ilona Andrews
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How is it that I could run into a gunfight against overwhelming odds and put myself between bullets and civilians, but I couldn't scrape together enough courage to speak to the one person who mattered the most to me?
Ilona Andrews
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I'm investigating people who sacrifice trained killers to dark gods. Perfect, it will keep him occupied. In what capacity? Bait.
Ilona Andrews
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Our stares connected and we were quiet for a long minute, united by our misery. At least he understood me and I understood him. A fine pair we make,” he said. Yeah.
Ilona Andrews
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If a man takes you to a restaurant of his choosing, don’t compliment him. Rave about the quality of the food and he’ll be thrilled, because he took you there.
Ilona Andrews
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Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.
Ilona Andrews
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Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.” “Maybe you should have it gold-plated.” “Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.
Ilona Andrews
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I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.
Ilona Andrews
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You like the girl, Alasdair offered. Nassar leveled a heavy gaze at him. Lillian said you tried to be funny in the car. I told her it couldn't possibly be true. The moment you try to make a joke, the sky shall split and the Four Horsemen will ride out, heralding Apocalypse.
Ilona Andrews
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Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?
Ilona Andrews
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You slept with Curran and you didn’t tell me? I’m your best friend.” “It didn’t come up.” “How disappointing for you.” Ha-ha. “That’s not what I meant.
Ilona Andrews
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If the lot of you survives, Curran will fray the skin off your backs,' Doolittle said. 'That's what I always love about you, Doctor.' Raphael grinned. 'You're a cup-halfway-full kind of guy. All flowers and sunshine.
Ilona Andrews
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It was one of those idiotic things that could've been resolved in a split second. Tara had no right to touch Raphael, and once she did he had every right to punch her. She should've left it at that, and now she was dead because she didn't.
Ilona Andrews
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Mmmm, Kate, the Chief of Security. Sexy. Who better to guard my body then the woman who owns it? Curran, I will punch you.
Ilona Andrews
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On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you're getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.
Ilona Andrews