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Had records so stellar, they had to lock their resumes in a drawer at night, so the golden light streaming from the pages wouldn't keep them awake.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you? The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. Sure, do you have one handy?
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I'm investigating people who sacrifice trained killers to dark gods. Perfect, it will keep him occupied. In what capacity? Bait.
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On your best day, you're only as good as I am on my worst with one arm tied behind my back.
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If you come back to me, I'll never leave you, I whispered into the furry ear. I'll make you all the pies you could ever eat.
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I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.
Ilona Andrews
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What's with the cute shoelace on your head? What this? He flicked the end of the cord with his finger. Yeah. Rambo called, he wants his bandana back.
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Ted said, You're working for the Order now. Yes. How does it feel? Well, Doctor, it feels rather sore and tingly.
Ilona Andrews
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Voshak's hair, a pale blond braid, which he bleached, was his trademark. It made him memorable. That's how the slavers operated. They adopted costumes and personas, trying to make themselves larger-than-life and hoping to inspire fear. They counted on that fear. One could fight a man, but nobody could fight a nightmare.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm counting to ten in my head. Is it helping? No. It doesn't help me with you either. I used to life weights to alleviate frustration, but someone blowtorched my weight bench. How did you do it, by the way? I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.
Ilona Andrews
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I flexed my wrist, popped a silver needle into my palm, and offered it to him. 'What's this?' 'A needle.' 'What should I do with it?' He'd walked right into it. Too easy. 'Please use it to pop your head. It's obscuring my view of the room.' - Kate & Saiman
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Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?
Ilona Andrews
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I'm welding the bimbo room shut.
Ilona Andrews
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Who is Hunter Becker? Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston? I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran looked back at me. Why is it you always attract creeps? You tell me. Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did.
Ilona Andrews
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Because you are the one. You are better than me in some things, and I am better than you in others...I don’t mind being a bit like you. I hope you don’t mind being a bit like me.
Ilona Andrews
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Two years? That's entirely too long. If you want, we can take care of that. After two years it's pure therapy.
Ilona Andrews
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He said, 'Yeah, but will I get chicks? In truckloads?
Ilona Andrews
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You should name him Fezzik. Inconceivable.
Ilona Andrews
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I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus. Saiman said dryly. Thank you for reminding me. Always happy to oblige.
Ilona Andrews
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Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?
Ilona Andrews