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What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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I'm going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly.
Ilona Andrews
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What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?” “No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house. “On yours or mine?” “On yours.” “Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.
Ilona Andrews
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I dived for it, caught it three inches above the cement, and found myself face-to-face with the salamander. Ruby-red eyes regarded me with mild curiosity, black lips parted, and a long, spiderweb-thin filament of a tongue slithered from the salamander’s mouth and kissed the sphere’s glass in the reflection of my nose. Hi, I love you, too.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm sorry about the dinner. Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome.
Ilona Andrews
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On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.
Ilona Andrews
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I’d give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous.
Ilona Andrews
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What happened to the alpha-wolf? LEGOs. Legos? It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasn't it an island? He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle.
Ilona Andrews
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And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot. She raised her hand. Don't. It was awesome, George confirmed. It really was, Jack said. His head exploded.
Ilona Andrews
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A girl half my age swept by and slammed two giant tankard filled with beer on the table. Ragnvald held his up. I smashed my tankard against his. Beer splashed. We raised the tankard and pretended to take much bigger gulps than we did.
Ilona Andrews
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It's not your job to die for your Pack! It's your job to make the other bastards die for theirs.
Ilona Andrews
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Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.
Ilona Andrews
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Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package?
Ilona Andrews
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You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right? Meant every word. A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, Baby. No. He laughed. You should see your face right now. Don't call me that. Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'? He winked.
Ilona Andrews
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I sighed and put Slayer between the front seats. Stay here. Guard the car. Saiman shut the door. Is the sword sentient? No. But I like to pretend it is.
Ilona Andrews
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Shapeshifter parenting motto—if your kid slit somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.
Ilona Andrews
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He kissed me, and I pulled my personal psycho into bed with me.
Ilona Andrews
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Oh no, is it naked time?
Ilona Andrews
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Rose pictured him standing at the boundary of the Ogletree house in that enormous fur cape, with a giant sword sticking over his shoulder, roaring at the top of his lungs and then being upset that nobody came out, and laughed.
Ilona Andrews
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I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you? Lord. I rolled my eyes. He shrugged. It's short.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran struck at my wrist. His fingers were cat-quick, but I had spent my life honing my reflexes, and he missed. “Well, look at that.” I studied my free wrist. “Denied. Good-bye
Ilona Andrews