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What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot. She raised her hand. Don't. It was awesome, George confirmed. It really was, Jack said. His head exploded.
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The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey. You're drinking tea a honey badger made, Jim said. What did you expect?
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Who is that?” “Your replacement.” “You replaced me with a shaved poodle?” “He's got mad skills.
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I had an appointment with a sexual deviant and I didn’t want to be late.
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I can't hate people that much. Don't get me wrong. I want to murder every last Keeper I can find. But that's not hate. That's vengeance.
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All men are liars. All women are liars, too.
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Look, he isn’t even concerned.” I poured the tea. “He’s concerned, Mother. He just doesn’t panic, because he’s in charge and if he panics, everybody else will panic.” “I can jog around the room pretending to scream if you would like,” Jim offered.
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Cough clenched, and vomited something chunky into the grass. Terrific. The big dog sat on his haunches and looked at William with a perplexed expression on his face. Well, eat it back up, William hissed. Don't waste it. Cough gave a tiny whine. I'm not eating your puke. Cough panted at him. No.
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I have a vamp body for you, Andrea said. It's in the freezer. I gave her a nice smile. You shouldn't have.
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On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint.
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You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right? Meant every word. A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, Baby. No. He laughed. You should see your face right now. Don't call me that. Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'? He winked.
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You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
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It was his eyes. When you looked into them, you saw chained violence baring teeth and claws back at you.
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I had to give it him, to flatter and insult a woman in one propostition took talent.
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He caressed my cheek. You came for me, I whispered. Always, he told me.
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Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix. Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.
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If he full-out flexed, I would probably faint, or jump off the building.
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Would you care for something to drink?” “Is it poisoned?” “It’s Saturday,” I said. “We only serve poison during the week.
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Vampires smiled for many reasons, but when a vampire male smiled at you from this distance with that kind of look in his eyes it was done for one purpose only: to impress. Look at my big teeth. I’m an apex predator. My genetic material is awesome.
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You're not going to die? Not right this minute. And of course, saying something like that usually resulted in immediate dying. I braced myself for a stray meteorite falling through the roof to crush my skull.
Ilona Andrews