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I'm counting to ten in my head. Is it helping? No. It doesn't help me with you either. I used to life weights to alleviate frustration, but someone blowtorched my weight bench. How did you do it, by the way? I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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On a scale from one to ten, the Pack was eleven and everything else a one.
Ilona Andrews
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The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles.
Ilona Andrews
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I batted my eyelashes and did my best to appear dumb as a board
Ilona Andrews
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Syphilis. Lots and lots of magically delicious Syphilis.
Ilona Andrews
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Hold your horses. I'm coming.... From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously. The snow swam out of focus. Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight.
Ilona Andrews
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If I lost him here, to this idiotic fight, after I fought and guarded him for two weeks, after I cried and thought he was dying, I would find him in the afterlife and I would murder him again.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran and I mixed about as well as glycerin and nitric acid: put us together, shake a bit, and hit the deck as we exploded.
Ilona Andrews
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You’re touching me,” I chided him. He caressed my back, sliding his hand down, hitting every sensitive point I hadn’t even known I had. “No, this is touching you. That was just accidental contact.” “Oh? Good to know. If you touch me again and I break your arm off, you can be sure it will be completely accidental.
Ilona Andrews
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What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.
Ilona Andrews
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I finally realized the source of your mutual attraction, Saiman said, his voice dry. You both think violence is foreplay.
Ilona Andrews
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I’d give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous.
Ilona Andrews
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Other pirates leaped over the railing. One, two... seven... thirteen. A baker’s dozen. Wait, fifteen. Eighteen... Twenty-one. The odds weren’t in our favor. “Maybe they just came over to borrow a cup of sugar,” I said. Andrea barked a short laugh. Curran put his hand on my shoulder. “That’s a lot of sugar. Must be a big cake.
Ilona Andrews
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Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak.
Ilona Andrews
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Congratulations, love. You traded up. Does he treat you well?' 'He's a teddy bear,' I said. Teddy bear looked like he was suffering from murder withdrawal. (Rene and Kate on Jim!)
Ilona Andrews
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The Beast Lord way: often wrong but never in doubt.
Ilona Andrews
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What kind of woman greets the Beast Lord with 'here, kitty, kitty'?
Ilona Andrews
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Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics.
Ilona Andrews
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Kate Daniels, trained negotiator. When in possession of some valuable information, give it away to the first sexy man you see with no guarantee of return.
Ilona Andrews
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You know what I like about you? You have no sense. You sit here in my house, you can barely hold a spoon, and you're telling me 'no'. You'd pull on Death's whiskers if you could reach them.
Ilona Andrews
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The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey. You're drinking tea a honey badger made, Jim said. What did you expect?
Ilona Andrews