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You know anything about investigative work? Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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I would not leave you. I'll be there. Wherever you want 'there' to be.
Ilona Andrews
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Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs.
Ilona Andrews
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Yes I can,” Curran snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.” I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.
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I’d signed six things and my stack wasn’t getting any smaller. It was like the paperwork was breeding while I worked.
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Our standard rate. A doubloon a day. It was generous. More than generous--some families would put him up for a week for a single coin. Half a doubloon a day, she said. No, you see, the idea behind bargaining is that you ask for a larger amount.
Ilona Andrews
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I was a knight, Andrea said. I'm not just going to start shooting every dickhead who mouths off to me. Just making sure. Besides, if I shot him, I'd do it so nobody could trace it back to me. I'd shoot him somewhere remote, his head would explode like a melon, and they would never find his body. He would just vanish.
Ilona Andrews
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Aha! So I’m not crazy.” “You are most definitely crazy,” Derek said. “But in a deranged, endearing way.
Ilona Andrews
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The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head. The T-shirt has a smiley face on it.
Ilona Andrews
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Would you care for something to drink?” “Is it poisoned?” “It’s Saturday,” I said. “We only serve poison during the week.
Ilona Andrews
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Only poor people are weird. Rich people are eccentric.
Ilona Andrews
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I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft. I bet. He almost purred. I gulped.
Ilona Andrews
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On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you're getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.
Ilona Andrews
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Everyone had a weakness. It was the law of nature that for each being there was a predator, or a disease, or a vulnerability built into their very core.
Ilona Andrews
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What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors.
Ilona Andrews
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Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?
Ilona Andrews
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You should name him Fezzik. Inconceivable.
Ilona Andrews
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I chuckled to myself and kept walking. The Universe had proven Curran wrong: a person who aggravated him more than me did, in fact, exist.
Ilona Andrews
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She can tell you the height of the attacker from the trigonometry of the blood spatter, while I'm fuzzy on what trigonometry is.
Ilona Andrews
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What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?” “No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house. “On yours or mine?” “On yours.” “Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.
Ilona Andrews
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Curran gave me a flat look. I can always drive to a burger joint instead. Oh, so you'd throw a burger down my throat and expect making out in the back seat? He grinned. We can do it in the front seat instead, if you prefer. Or on the hood of the car. I'm not doing it on the hood of the car. Is that a dare? Why me?
Ilona Andrews