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If you don't explain it all to me, I might strangle somebody. Of course, Raphael might like that.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?” His eyes flashed. “Got any to spare?” I could’ve picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right.
Ilona Andrews
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Aha, Andrea said. I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'.
Ilona Andrews
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Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind . . . I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.
Ilona Andrews
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It's not your job to die for your Pack! It's your job to make the other bastards die for theirs.
Ilona Andrews
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What do you do to your hair? Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil. Ever thought of patenting the recipe? No.
Ilona Andrews
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I looked at the canine companion. “Me cookies. You stay.
Ilona Andrews
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I know it may come as a shock, but it's sort of considered polite to wait for the consent of the woman. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you don't wait, you may have to deal with pesky criminal charges like kidnapping and rape.
Ilona Andrews
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Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.
Ilona Andrews
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I dived for it, caught it three inches above the cement, and found myself face-to-face with the salamander. Ruby-red eyes regarded me with mild curiosity, black lips parted, and a long, spiderweb-thin filament of a tongue slithered from the salamander’s mouth and kissed the sphere’s glass in the reflection of my nose. Hi, I love you, too.
Ilona Andrews
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I just had to stay cool. Zen. No punching in the face. Punching would not be Zen.
Ilona Andrews
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Shapeshifter parenting motto—if your kid slit somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.
Ilona Andrews
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Please, Kate. Suspend your dislike of me for a few moments and listen to what I have to say. It makes sense. I don't dislike you. It's an oversimplification.
Ilona Andrews
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Wiggles hissed as I crossed the floor toward the throne. She fixed me with her empty hateful eyes and smelled the air, her long tongue shivering through the slit of the lipless mouth. Nice to see you too, sweetheart. Remember my cattle prod?
Ilona Andrews
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I sighed and put Slayer between the front seats. Stay here. Guard the car. Saiman shut the door. Is the sword sentient? No. But I like to pretend it is.
Ilona Andrews
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Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.
Ilona Andrews
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I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus. Saiman said dryly. Thank you for reminding me. Always happy to oblige.
Ilona Andrews
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For a second I thought I might actually be alive, I said, looking at Nick's unshaven face. Now I know- I've gone to Hell and you're my nursemaid.
Ilona Andrews
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He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?
Ilona Andrews
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Grandpa? Declan raised his eyebrows. We keep him in the shed out back, Jack said helpfully. So he doesn't eat dog brains.
Ilona Andrews
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You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right? Meant every word. A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, Baby. No. He laughed. You should see your face right now. Don't call me that. Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'? He winked.
Ilona Andrews