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You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword I hit him with my head, like a moron.

Ilona Andrews

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Ilona Andrews
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More quotes by Ilona Andrews

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Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. “I’m just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?” “Sure.” Thirty seconds later, as I was flying through the air, I decided that this wasn’t the best idea.
Ilona Andrews
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I chuckled to myself and kept walking. The Universe had proven Curran wrong: a person who aggravated him more than me did, in fact, exist.
Ilona Andrews
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Technically, the dance worked best when done naked, but I didn't feel like prancing in the nude into Morrigan Hound's arms. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see me.
Ilona Andrews
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Cough clenched, and vomited something chunky into the grass. Terrific. The big dog sat on his haunches and looked at William with a perplexed expression on his face. Well, eat it back up, William hissed. Don't waste it. Cough gave a tiny whine. I'm not eating your puke. Cough panted at him. No.
Ilona Andrews
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Now Julie could stay here, in the Keep full of homicidal maniacs who grew teeth the size of switchblades and erupted into a violent frenzy when threatened.
Ilona Andrews
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There was something very comforting about him, and I was not sure if it was his easy manner or his complete immunity to my scowling.
Ilona Andrews
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I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt.
Ilona Andrews
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Shave that jaw, brush that hair, tone down the crazy in the eyes, and he would have to fight women off with that crossbow.
Ilona Andrews
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Isn’t that why you have that gun mounted on the front? Or is it for other reasons, because I would’ve thought that a man with your powers would be past the urge to compensate.” Barabas grinned. “I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus,” Saiman said dryly. “Thank you for reminding me.” “Always happy to oblige.
Ilona Andrews
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What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?” “No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house. “On yours or mine?” “On yours.” “Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.
Ilona Andrews
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Give me a few minutes.” “You have time.” He sat in the grass. “Are you just going to sit there and watch me?” “Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best.” “Peasant?” He shrugged. “You started the name calling.
Ilona Andrews
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One day I'll kill him, you know. I glanced at her. She was deadly serious.
Ilona Andrews
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Who is Hunter Becker? Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston? I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing.
Ilona Andrews
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I’d give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous.
Ilona Andrews
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I trusted her about as far as I could throw her. I was strong and she was small, but it still wasn't very far.
Ilona Andrews
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When I'm with him, I can feel myself getting better. It's like he's picking up broken pieces of me and putting me back together, and I don't even know he's doing it. We never talk about it. We don't go to therapy. He just loves me and that's enough.
Ilona Andrews
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You know, she said, stirring her tea, the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed. I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. He'd run like he was on fire.
Ilona Andrews
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She could've stared into those eyes for a thousand years and never noticed the time passing by.
Ilona Andrews
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I realized that I'm a child. William looked point-blank at her chest. No.
Ilona Andrews
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Yes I can,” Curran snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.” I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.
Ilona Andrews